Post by Caroline Strachan, Student in the M.A. Marriage, Couples, and Family Therapy Program at the TCSPP San Diego Campus
Right after I graduated undergrad, I was on my way to spend a year in Europe when I found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant after my ex-boyfriend and I broke up. My ex-boyfriend decided to disappear for a while, and my family was not supportive at the time. I ended up getting kicked out of my home because I would not get an abortion or choose adoption, and had no place to live. I decided to choose life for my son Titus, despite taking the harder road. But there was something burning inside of me that I knew I had made the right decision, despite my uncontrollable circumstances. I was going to fight for my son and I knew I could only rely on myself and God. I was a single mother from the beginning, without support, pregnant, and scared of my future. How could I do this on my own?
Taking a Risk by applying to Graduate School while being Pregnant
I knew right away that my BA degree in Psychology was not going to be able to support my son and I financially. We currently live in San Diego, California and it is expensive. I did not want to have to work multiple jobs in order to support us, and never see my son or just put him into daycare. I have a therapist/mentor in my life that I have been working with for over ten years. She was the only healthy and positive support and encouragement that I had at the time. She really helped to change and save my life, helped mold me into the amazing mother I am today, and I felt I wanted to give back what was so freely given to me. She supported me to enroll into graduate school. I had a passion and desire to help people like her, and I wanted to continue my studies to become a therapist. I knew that in order to make my dreams come true for myself, and Titus, that I would need to take a risk. That risk was applying to graduate schools in southern California, just to see if I could even get in. I figured out how to use loans from school in order to help support myself and my son. We were on food stamps, and government assistance. We had a very humble beginning. Titus was placed into my life as a blessing in disguise in order to break my own glass ceilings. I would not have applied to graduate school if it was not for him.
My Journey to The Chicago School of Professional Psychology
I was 7 and a half months pregnant when I landed my first graduate school interview. Out of 40 people in the group interviewed, everyone voted that I was the group leader! I was so nervous, extremely pregnant, and happy to be there that I could not stop talking and asking people questions. My dreams came true when I found out I was accepted into the graduate program. I felt like my hardest hurdle was to get in, and now I found hope in my future. As I started to take my classes, I grew as a person. I started to get confidence within myself and crafting my trade and skill as a therapist. Unfortunately, the graduate program I was in had to closed right in the middle of my last semester. I found myself so heartbroken, and discouraged. I had worked so hard and was unsure of what to do. They started to transfer us to different graduate programs, or some students just stopped school all together because they couldn’t even afford rent. I was advised to look at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology that was located in San Diego and had an MFT program (Marriage and Family Therapy). I fell in love with the school right after my first in person meeting with one of the staff members.
Dreams can come True
While being at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, I met the love of my life! We found out we were having our baby named Silas and got engaged! I spent my entire 2nd pregnancy at school. I was able to obtain accommodations through the Title IX office– they even let me turn assignments in early or late, and they accommodated classes for me. My professors were extremely understanding and supportive – they gave me extremely great advice as a mother and graduate student. They help me to be able to be the best student and parent that I could possibly be. I feel because I had such great support from my school and staff members, my fiancé, my children, and God that I was able to reach and accomplish my dreams. I am passionate about the work that I do for my clients, and I feel because I am a parent that I am a better therapist now.
Conclusion
I never thought it could be possible to be in graduate school while being a single parent and having kids and no family support. I never thought I could accomplish my dreams and have a job and career that I am so passionate about and love to do. But, I know that God used Titus in my life to help motivate me to do impossible things that I could not have done on my own. My children push and encourage me to be the best mother, therapist, student, fiancé that I can be. Don’t give up on dreams just because it looks hard or difficult, or even impossible. The Chicago school of Professional Psychology can make these dreams come true for you, and your family, and future clients. I would do this whole process all over again if I had too because the sacrifice was worth it. Isn’t that what it means to be a parent in the end?